CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS: A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, & requested “I’m looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.” The officer said, “Your requirements, please.” “Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing & dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don’t go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation & be silent when I want to rest.” The officer listened carefully & replied, “I understand you need television.” There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife & a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband & the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind & deaf at the courting stage & dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up & discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING: Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all & their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character.” It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment & unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves & lower our expectations.